no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
