Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
