Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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