my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
