I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
