There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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