found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
