is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
