Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
