wrigley field is MILF paradise
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
