We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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