Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
