Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
