Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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