Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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