fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just gift wrapped bread.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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