Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
