I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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