Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I just spent $27 on things to pee on.

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(630): View more from Illinois

if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems

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(616): View more from Michigan

Princesses don't give blow jobs

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(256): View more from Alabama

hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by

(256): View more from Alabama

he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch

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(313): View more from Michigan

I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?

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(512): View more from Texas

Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!

(1-512): View more from Texas

Did she say Ok?

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(897): View more from

i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day

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