My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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