This dress was meant to end up on your floor
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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