I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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