Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
