Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Randomize
