I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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