A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Randomize