i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
