Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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