Sry I called you an 8
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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