On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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