i don't like sucking hair
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
