some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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