No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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