so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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