I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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