we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
