If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
