You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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