Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
