I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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