Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
