Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I need a burrito and a hug.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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