if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
