He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
