ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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