Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
