You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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