She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
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