is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
