i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
The best revenge is premature balding
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Randomize
