Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
