2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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