Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
