Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
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