i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
