i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
