I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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