Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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