I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
