Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You're a waste of cheezeits
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
