I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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